Not Homeless
Mood: chillin'
Now Playing: still not playing.
Topic: Daily Doings
1. Re the bin-diving/etc, (see below) the word in question is "freegan".
2. I dunno why I call this guy Crackhead of the Century. Saddo of the Century would be more appropriate. He was still out begging change at 4am. Someone (whom he knows) ran off with the previous tenner he made. What can I say? Also (re some past happenings) he is either mentally retarded or a stirrer of "muck" par excellence—got me in real trouble one time.
3. I've not been chucked out. Yet.
Wahey!!
PS If you want a laugh, click on this: http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/fugitives/internl/internllist.htm & have a gorp at some "international fugitives" from justice. Elizabeth & Fritz Otte —what are they wanted for? Robbing a Sue Ryder shop??
Posted by gledwood at 12:28 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 12:50 PM GMT
Showing posts with label diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diary. Show all posts
Saturday, 20 January 2007
Freakin' Clean: Clean Freak
Tuesday, 9 January 2007
Freakin' Clean: Clean Freak
Mood: crushed out
Now Playing: Que Sera Sera
Topic: Daily Doings
HI PEOPLE. I got myself in a tailspin earlier. I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life being depressed sometimes; it means I can launch right back into all the old negative thoughts with a fingersnap's notice. The guy I named Crackhead of the Century went "yeah, right," under his breath when I said I hadn't got 50p to spare earlier on and I had to seriously keep my hands to myself.
What I did to cure it all was eat my "junkie sausages & bakedbeans" (the recipe's given in "topics" list under Junkie Cookery if you want a laugh. My twist on sausages & beans (for those impatient with the cooking) is you brown the outside then chop 'em up & upend them, searing the resulting little sections. Goes all lovely & crunchie. Yummmm.) & then I slept for a couple of hours. And now I feel a lot better.
As I say I've made a huge effort lately not to be living like a glorified down-&-out (albeit with my own little roof over my head). My clothes are clean. I have on Puma trakkie bottoms the same colour blue as my blog background — a beautifully clean and laundered cobalt blue. I have on a black hoodie, that is also (fairly) freshly washed (well, a week ago and that's good for me, believe!) My trainers (sneakers) are scummy though. Silver Nikes I've overworn but I've another pair I'm saving up for when these really disintegrate. (I barely ever buy clothes but people have been incredibly generous with me. I'm nowadays wearing pretty much the kind of stuff I'd choose if I had the choice... I have some very generous friends (one in particular, Mr Dodger, has a habit of bin-diving. There's a word for this when you live on stuff others have chucked out... but it escapes me. When the expression does come back to me I'll post it. It's been on the radio & in all the papers. The newest, most ecosound way of living.)
Okay, I've a hit waiting for me then I'm going to reorganize the last of my stuff. After that, que sera sera, as Doris Day trilled. Whatever will be will be...
... The future's not ours to see ...
... Que sera ...
... sera!!
& now to quote Bazil Brush:—
"Boom-boom!"
Posted by gledwood at 1:14 AM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:38 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 2:14 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
You are indeed fortunate to be well-supplied with clothes! Who was it that once said, "clothes make the man"? 'Tis true.
Hmmm ... I'll have to check out that Junkie Cookery! Sounds quite lovely ...
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 2:43 AM GMT
Name: "istanbulwitch"
Home Page: http://istanbulwitchy.blogger.com
E-Mail: z_aksoy@yahoo.com
Hey dude,
I am here, I am reading your blog, I haven't disappeared.
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 4:10 PM GMT
Name: "Ruth"
Home Page: http://ruthjen.blogspot.com/
1. Glad you're not homeless
2. I like my suasages like that.....we will have to have a blog bbq in the summer
3. please send some bin divers my way; they may get rid of some of that rubbish being dumped outside our fence
4. What a brilliant impersonator you are esp. the Basil Brush one...your voice was a bit deep for Doris Day LOL
5. Gotta dash; it's started pissing down with rain and I've got all the upstairs windows open
Raindrops keep falling on my head..la..la..la..lala.la.la.lala
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 8:54 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
"...hi-di-hi campers..."
How about my Ruth Madoc impersonation?
Gleds
xx
Freakin' Clean: Clean Freak
Mood: crushed out
Now Playing: Que Sera Sera
Topic: Daily Doings
HI PEOPLE. I got myself in a tailspin earlier. I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life being depressed sometimes; it means I can launch right back into all the old negative thoughts with a fingersnap's notice. The guy I named Crackhead of the Century went "yeah, right," under his breath when I said I hadn't got 50p to spare earlier on and I had to seriously keep my hands to myself.
What I did to cure it all was eat my "junkie sausages & bakedbeans" (the recipe's given in "topics" list under Junkie Cookery if you want a laugh. My twist on sausages & beans (for those impatient with the cooking) is you brown the outside then chop 'em up & upend them, searing the resulting little sections. Goes all lovely & crunchie. Yummmm.) & then I slept for a couple of hours. And now I feel a lot better.
As I say I've made a huge effort lately not to be living like a glorified down-&-out (albeit with my own little roof over my head). My clothes are clean. I have on Puma trakkie bottoms the same colour blue as my blog background — a beautifully clean and laundered cobalt blue. I have on a black hoodie, that is also (fairly) freshly washed (well, a week ago and that's good for me, believe!) My trainers (sneakers) are scummy though. Silver Nikes I've overworn but I've another pair I'm saving up for when these really disintegrate. (I barely ever buy clothes but people have been incredibly generous with me. I'm nowadays wearing pretty much the kind of stuff I'd choose if I had the choice... I have some very generous friends (one in particular, Mr Dodger, has a habit of bin-diving. There's a word for this when you live on stuff others have chucked out... but it escapes me. When the expression does come back to me I'll post it. It's been on the radio & in all the papers. The newest, most ecosound way of living.)
Okay, I've a hit waiting for me then I'm going to reorganize the last of my stuff. After that, que sera sera, as Doris Day trilled. Whatever will be will be...
... The future's not ours to see ...
... Que sera ...
... sera!!
& now to quote Bazil Brush:—
"Boom-boom!"
Posted by gledwood at 1:14 AM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:38 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 2:14 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
You are indeed fortunate to be well-supplied with clothes! Who was it that once said, "clothes make the man"? 'Tis true.
Hmmm ... I'll have to check out that Junkie Cookery! Sounds quite lovely ...
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 2:43 AM GMT
Name: "istanbulwitch"
Home Page: http://istanbulwitchy.blogger.com
E-Mail: z_aksoy@yahoo.com
Hey dude,
I am here, I am reading your blog, I haven't disappeared.
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 4:10 PM GMT
Name: "Ruth"
Home Page: http://ruthjen.blogspot.com/
1. Glad you're not homeless
2. I like my suasages like that.....we will have to have a blog bbq in the summer
3. please send some bin divers my way; they may get rid of some of that rubbish being dumped outside our fence
4. What a brilliant impersonator you are esp. the Basil Brush one...your voice was a bit deep for Doris Day LOL
5. Gotta dash; it's started pissing down with rain and I've got all the upstairs windows open
Raindrops keep falling on my head..la..la..la..lala.la.la.lala
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 8:54 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
"...hi-di-hi campers..."
How about my Ruth Madoc impersonation?
Gleds
xx
Eviction Threat
Monday, 8 January 2007
Eviction Threat
Mood: irritated
Now Playing: with the Hoover
Topic: Daily Doings
THIS TIME TOMORROW I could be homeless. "Could be" is the operative expression; it's my landlord's threat. He says I must tidy up my room by 8am tomorrow and unusually for him (he does nothing in an organized fashion usually) the threat is put in writing in a one-sentence letter. Yes, that makes it more legally serious, I know.
I don't get on with my landord. I am recovering from severe problems with depression and just not coping. [I just read this back: I mean I'm recovering from the not coping+depression. Not I was depressed & I'm still not coping. Okay?] As I've hinted before I literally gave up on life a while ago— almost completely. I ended up in a room full of clutter (it had all gone in my friends' shed during the months I was homeless and the years I spent with Nutnut but it had to come back to me eventually. And I was in no right mind really to deal with it when it did.) And the problem just exacerbated. Eventually I did clear the room ship-shape so most of that old clutter's long gone.
The council have me down as "vulnerable". I'd not have been housed otherwise. But when "vulnerable" shows its true "vulnerable" colours, the same council that demanded vulnerability as a box-ticking manoevre don't want to deal with its untidy actuality.
I've an Everest mound of washing in the middle of the floor. A load of books is next to it. The pile has toppled. The bin also I knocked over during my yesterday's efforts at cleaning. So he looks at this and doesn't see my effort, he only sees my mess.
It's going to take me an hour or so to get my room all ship-shape for his inspection.
And then, tomorrow morning, I hopefully won't be homeless.
Posted by gledwood at 5:13 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:53 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 11:48 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
Best of luck to you, Gledwood. At least cleaning the room will be easier than getting clean from addiction. My problems with alcohol addiction prove that.
I too have a mess to clean up, but mine is outside. I haven't cleared the yard of leaves, fallen branches and assorted yard waste from the summer and fall.
This landlord of yours does not sound live a very nice guy. That is dreadful.
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 1:12 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Thanks! It's 1:20am I'm just about to clear my floor (looks lovely when it's done) in earnest. And find a hiding place for hammy.
Gleds
Eviction Threat
Mood: irritated
Now Playing: with the Hoover
Topic: Daily Doings
THIS TIME TOMORROW I could be homeless. "Could be" is the operative expression; it's my landlord's threat. He says I must tidy up my room by 8am tomorrow and unusually for him (he does nothing in an organized fashion usually) the threat is put in writing in a one-sentence letter. Yes, that makes it more legally serious, I know.
I don't get on with my landord. I am recovering from severe problems with depression and just not coping. [I just read this back: I mean I'm recovering from the not coping+depression. Not I was depressed & I'm still not coping. Okay?] As I've hinted before I literally gave up on life a while ago— almost completely. I ended up in a room full of clutter (it had all gone in my friends' shed during the months I was homeless and the years I spent with Nutnut but it had to come back to me eventually. And I was in no right mind really to deal with it when it did.) And the problem just exacerbated. Eventually I did clear the room ship-shape so most of that old clutter's long gone.
The council have me down as "vulnerable". I'd not have been housed otherwise. But when "vulnerable" shows its true "vulnerable" colours, the same council that demanded vulnerability as a box-ticking manoevre don't want to deal with its untidy actuality.
I've an Everest mound of washing in the middle of the floor. A load of books is next to it. The pile has toppled. The bin also I knocked over during my yesterday's efforts at cleaning. So he looks at this and doesn't see my effort, he only sees my mess.
It's going to take me an hour or so to get my room all ship-shape for his inspection.
And then, tomorrow morning, I hopefully won't be homeless.
Posted by gledwood at 5:13 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 1:53 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 11:48 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
Best of luck to you, Gledwood. At least cleaning the room will be easier than getting clean from addiction. My problems with alcohol addiction prove that.
I too have a mess to clean up, but mine is outside. I haven't cleared the yard of leaves, fallen branches and assorted yard waste from the summer and fall.
This landlord of yours does not sound live a very nice guy. That is dreadful.
Reply to this Comment
Tuesday, 9 January 2007 - 1:12 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Thanks! It's 1:20am I'm just about to clear my floor (looks lovely when it's done) in earnest. And find a hiding place for hammy.
Gleds
A Yummy Dinner
Sunday, 7 January 2007
A Yummy Dinner
Mood: happy
Now Playing: ... you name the tune...
Topic: Daily Doings
YEAH, MAN a yummy dinner. And enough free B to put in my bum (intramuscularly) to give a pleasing dizziness to the end of a drab weekend. Bon appetit, well and truly.
Posted by gledwood at 6:39 PM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 4:24 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
*jealousy!*
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 11:01 AM GMT
Name: "gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
You don't wanna be jealous of me, man, honestly. I only had to put it in my arse as I didn't have any pukka veins left.
Gleds
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 2:35 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Or were you jealous of the Sunday lunch? Me and my onetrack mind!
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 7:42 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Chipper, have you tried smoking your heroin? You're less likely to OD, and once you get a hang of it, as I say below, you get SOME idea of the purity from appearance as it melts etc.
The following comment I left on yours. I wanted to post the info on mine too for reference sake:
I don't know what fentanyl feels like... I once bought something in a drought that was scarlet and cooked up like cranberry juice. Fixing it up gave no rush but it held me perfectly till morning.
I've heard that street quality morphine can be red.
If you've no habit and you're getting "heroin" you can't feel there is something SERIOUSLY wrong.
Do you know how to smoke heroin?
You take a bit of tinfoil about A5 size (bigger than a postcard, smaller than a sheet of writing paper... well it doesn't matter how big but that's a guide) you burn it off with a lighter, wipe it down with toilet paper/kitchen roll etc.
Roll up a "tooter" out of foil. Use a pencil or something to get the right shape.
Put heroin on foil. Heat (using a good lighter) from beneath. Allow heroin to melt first else you risk sucking powder into your mouth. Put tooter in mouth. Use one hand to operate lighter, other to hold foil. This is slightly stronger than snorting (most people say), it takes about half an hour to smoke what I'd imagine you get for $10-$15. You can tell the quality better by appearance of melting heroin, how it runs, smell etc.
You tilt the foil and "run" the blob or drop of heroin along it, "chasing" the fumes that come out of it.
They call this chasing.
The media call it chasing the dragon.
It might be worth a try. Easier on the nose also!
A Yummy Dinner
Mood: happy
Now Playing: ... you name the tune...
Topic: Daily Doings
YEAH, MAN a yummy dinner. And enough free B to put in my bum (intramuscularly) to give a pleasing dizziness to the end of a drab weekend. Bon appetit, well and truly.
Posted by gledwood at 6:39 PM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 4:24 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
*jealousy!*
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 11:01 AM GMT
Name: "gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
You don't wanna be jealous of me, man, honestly. I only had to put it in my arse as I didn't have any pukka veins left.
Gleds
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 2:35 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Or were you jealous of the Sunday lunch? Me and my onetrack mind!
Reply to this Comment
Monday, 8 January 2007 - 7:42 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Chipper, have you tried smoking your heroin? You're less likely to OD, and once you get a hang of it, as I say below, you get SOME idea of the purity from appearance as it melts etc.
The following comment I left on yours. I wanted to post the info on mine too for reference sake:
I don't know what fentanyl feels like... I once bought something in a drought that was scarlet and cooked up like cranberry juice. Fixing it up gave no rush but it held me perfectly till morning.
I've heard that street quality morphine can be red.
If you've no habit and you're getting "heroin" you can't feel there is something SERIOUSLY wrong.
Do you know how to smoke heroin?
You take a bit of tinfoil about A5 size (bigger than a postcard, smaller than a sheet of writing paper... well it doesn't matter how big but that's a guide) you burn it off with a lighter, wipe it down with toilet paper/kitchen roll etc.
Roll up a "tooter" out of foil. Use a pencil or something to get the right shape.
Put heroin on foil. Heat (using a good lighter) from beneath. Allow heroin to melt first else you risk sucking powder into your mouth. Put tooter in mouth. Use one hand to operate lighter, other to hold foil. This is slightly stronger than snorting (most people say), it takes about half an hour to smoke what I'd imagine you get for $10-$15. You can tell the quality better by appearance of melting heroin, how it runs, smell etc.
You tilt the foil and "run" the blob or drop of heroin along it, "chasing" the fumes that come out of it.
They call this chasing.
The media call it chasing the dragon.
It might be worth a try. Easier on the nose also!
Quarter to three, Sunday
Sunday, 7 January 2007
Quarter to three, Sunday...
Mood: lazy
Now Playing: nothing much...
Topic: Daily Doings
IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER TO THREE and just about time I should be getting to my friend's house for Sunday lunch. (Yes, I get Sunday lunch every week free — with all trimmings. How cool is that? Sometimes I even get a free taste of heroin to give bon appetit. (Can't count on that, though, grrr.))
I don't think I mentioned this, but during the very most intense phase of my addiction I relied on heroin to eat, sleep and get up. Obviously I had to get out of bed without it some days, in order to get it. But I certainly could not sleep without it. And I found it really difficult to eat without having a hit just before. One afternoon I remember banging up next to the fridge and tearing into cold roast chicken right as the B-buzz hit me. The result of this "drugs eating disorder" was I became a bit overweight (testimony to how much heroin I was taking). Also I was living with Mad Bird. The food was free. She was crazed. And I needed all the consolation I could get...
Posted by gledwood at 2:49 PM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 8:36 PM GMT
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Sunday, 7 January 2007 - 3:38 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
That's interesting; heroin seems to take my hunger away. If I do enough if it, that is. It just makes me feel satisfied, I guess; it takes away the need for food. It also takes away the cravings for alcohol.
She sounds like she was quite a handy person to have around! What happened there? (You don't have to snswer if you don't want to; I'm just curious.)
Interesting about the sleep thing. Heroin sometimes makes me sleepy, and sometimes it keeps me awake. I guess it depends on my mood, and how much I'm enjoying it.
Reply to this Comment
Sunday, 7 January 2007 - 6:29 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
It used to be my cure all. (I say used to be bc that was during the peak/depths of my habit when I was with NutNut/MadBird I woke up every day bellyaching, chilly, down... heroin took that all away.)
Even now, when I have a hit, other people have remarked, it makes me put on cooking, eat. It's my bon appetit drug. I know what you mean about it killing appetite... it does to an extent... but when my habit was truly raging I felt utterly nauseated until I had my 3 (at the very least) daily hits (+ 3 "filters"). So I ran on (opiate) empty, hit up, THEN I could relax, eat, be human, etc. I was totally obsessed with the drug then to a degree I can't properly explain. I didn't even consider myself to be a part of the human race. The human race I begged money off, ran and scored...
So by comparison, I'm now "recovering".!!
By comparison!
...
!
Quarter to three, Sunday...
Mood: lazy
Now Playing: nothing much...
Topic: Daily Doings
IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER TO THREE and just about time I should be getting to my friend's house for Sunday lunch. (Yes, I get Sunday lunch every week free — with all trimmings. How cool is that? Sometimes I even get a free taste of heroin to give bon appetit. (Can't count on that, though, grrr.))
I don't think I mentioned this, but during the very most intense phase of my addiction I relied on heroin to eat, sleep and get up. Obviously I had to get out of bed without it some days, in order to get it. But I certainly could not sleep without it. And I found it really difficult to eat without having a hit just before. One afternoon I remember banging up next to the fridge and tearing into cold roast chicken right as the B-buzz hit me. The result of this "drugs eating disorder" was I became a bit overweight (testimony to how much heroin I was taking). Also I was living with Mad Bird. The food was free. She was crazed. And I needed all the consolation I could get...
Posted by gledwood at 2:49 PM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 8:36 PM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Sunday, 7 January 2007 - 3:38 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
That's interesting; heroin seems to take my hunger away. If I do enough if it, that is. It just makes me feel satisfied, I guess; it takes away the need for food. It also takes away the cravings for alcohol.
She sounds like she was quite a handy person to have around! What happened there? (You don't have to snswer if you don't want to; I'm just curious.)
Interesting about the sleep thing. Heroin sometimes makes me sleepy, and sometimes it keeps me awake. I guess it depends on my mood, and how much I'm enjoying it.
Reply to this Comment
Sunday, 7 January 2007 - 6:29 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
It used to be my cure all. (I say used to be bc that was during the peak/depths of my habit when I was with NutNut/MadBird I woke up every day bellyaching, chilly, down... heroin took that all away.)
Even now, when I have a hit, other people have remarked, it makes me put on cooking, eat. It's my bon appetit drug. I know what you mean about it killing appetite... it does to an extent... but when my habit was truly raging I felt utterly nauseated until I had my 3 (at the very least) daily hits (+ 3 "filters"). So I ran on (opiate) empty, hit up, THEN I could relax, eat, be human, etc. I was totally obsessed with the drug then to a degree I can't properly explain. I didn't even consider myself to be a part of the human race. The human race I begged money off, ran and scored...
So by comparison, I'm now "recovering".!!
By comparison!
...
!
After a Crazy Night
Saturday, 6 January 2007
Oh come on, is no-one online? It's just before 1am GMT, which makes it around 5pm EST; 2pm PST; 2am CET; 3am South African time; 6:30am Indian... come on! Is no-one awake! Write me a comment NOW! Please. I'm bored. Do you know what I'm gonna wanna delete this in the morning...
Did you see my Dear Deidre reply below? How cool is that? I've found a new blog by Chipper: click his link to the right... I have a lot of things to say to Mr Chipper. Playing With Fire... Yes indeedy! Do you know how it feels to get burnt yet? Just be careful, p l e a s e . . .
Sometimes I suspect people are too taken in by internet impressions. You must bear in mind when reading my blog that I write how I talk (pretty much). But I don't talk how I look. Most of you would probably not want to sit next to me on a bus, for example. I may give the impression, by being articulate, of being more capable than I am... capable is not the right word. OK, let me rephrase. I may give the impression of being someone who copes far better than he actually does. Do you want to hear the nitty-gritty of my life? I'll post you some gory details then... well take last night as a good example. A grown man in my house. Someone I know and for all the water under the bridge and for all his faults who I do actually respect. Was, as I said, howling like a wolf at four o'clock in the morning. And his girlfriend was begging him and I mean imploring, pleading with him not to sell her phone. This guy was acting like someone with all the IQ of a blushing-bum babboon. Which may be intelligent as the kingdom of animals goes, but ain't a patch on your average human. I have really lived in some degraded conditions (certainly of my own making, and that's the point. I don't need to "blame" anyone for these things). Homeless. Self-starving. Semi-psychotic. (At times I was psychotic, but these times have been mercifully brief.) Dirty. Sad. Pitiable and yet not wanting pity. Oh what else can I say? Just don't look to me and assume I'm taking drugs and making it somehow work for me, because that just ain't true...
Posted by gledwood at 12:57 AM GMT
Updated: Saturday, 6 January 2007 1:18 AM GMT
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Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 1:29 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
This is actually a comment I want to send to Ruth but the system went down when I attempted to send it. Luckily I've learnt to highlight+ctrlC my comments before I click anything else. Thattaway no lengthy essays get lost!!
Yes that is really beautiful. Strange coincidence but I found a fresh lime on the pavement last night (never one to pass a free fruit by, me. And I love to add about 5 teaspoons sugar + 1 glass water; makes far better lime cordial than you can buy).
And yeah! Dear Deidre replied to me! How cool is that!!!
(She must pay an army of pseudonymous Deidres to answer her mail, SURELY...!)
I still can't get over that reply though!! I was like you. I thought she was just a photo in the paper!
Re below, I love the photos of the moving bedspreads you put before. And that mound of leaves the local frogs and harvest mice set up home in... (well what else happened to it...???!!?)
Okay then, — Gleds xx
PS I hope Mick is well. Please give him my best regards...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 2:11 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
E-Mail: mwkalish@web.de
Hi, Gledwood -- yes, it certainly is amazing that Dear Deidre wrote to you! I wasn't actually so familiar with her in particular, but I do occasionally read some articles from The Sun online. I discovered the colorful print version too, some time ago, when waiting for a colleague to pick me up at Stansted and drive me to Derby.
Thanks for all your comments. I agree with you completely re: the senseless banning of diamorpine for pain relief in the US, while it's available pretty much elsewhere, as in the UK. Here we have a big problem with fentanyl showing up in street heroin. It has killed people I know, or rather, friends of friends. Several.
I think you would be an interesting person to sit next to on the bus ...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 5:00 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Oh by the way, re fentanyl and heroin "cut" with "benzos", "barbs" or "methaqualone" (Mandrax/Quaaludes)...
How does fentanyl get into heroin? Where does the fentanyl come from? Is it illicitly manufactured? If so, surely the American police/fbi/customs/whoever deals with these things has busted at least one lab... IF NOT, doesn't that suggest that the pharmecutical companies are somehow complicit in this? Or else the government? Or at the very least some people in pretty high places. Because unless you're making it yourself, getting hold of huge enough doses to cut a swathe of a nation's heroin supply takes quite some influence.
Ditto with "gear cut with barbs". E.g. a red Seconal in the 1960s contained 50mg or 100mg of Seconal (quinalbarbitone/secobarbital) in a red capsule weighing in total at least 500mg (half a gram) Which is the size of (here in the UK) a £20 bag of street gear. To cut heroin with this drug and have it take any effect, you'd need to add NEAT barbs, not just powder from capsules, which again begs the same questions...
Same with methaqualone, which has also turned up in heroin. (Though I know someone who grew up in Malta where "Quaaludes" were on the drugs market. He said these weren't pharmaceutical pills, they were more like Es, branded with various stars, birds, crowns/ etc. I.e. illicitly manufactured ...
But again, the police in this country have examined the quality of ecstasy pills and stated (though this has not been widely publicized) that some are so well made they almost definitely come from professional pill-making equipment... which again begs some fascinating questions - how do criminal gangs get their hands on such equipment?
All I'm saying is, I reckon there's a lot more going on with this drugs thing than meets the eye...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 8:31 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
I've read theories about where the fentanyl found in some heroin supplies gets there. One article I read (sorry, can't remember where!) said that fentanyl is one of the most-often stolen drug from pharmacies which have been burglarized. It is also intercepted in shipments, they said. I suspect two aditional things: manufacturer complicity, as you state -- as well as pharmacists and/or physicians and/or hospitals which siphon off fentanyl and sell it to heroin wholesalers. Here in Detorit it has killed nearly two hundred people. And it certainly hasn't killed every user who has received it -- most of the time, I would imagine that it's properly diluted. So it's certain that, just here in Detroit, an ENORMOUS amount of fentanyl is being diverted to the streets. And that's just one city! So there must, MUST be a conspiracy going on, cooperation between heroin suppliers and "legitimate" drug manufacturers and distributers!
Oh come on, is no-one online? It's just before 1am GMT, which makes it around 5pm EST; 2pm PST; 2am CET; 3am South African time; 6:30am Indian... come on! Is no-one awake! Write me a comment NOW! Please. I'm bored. Do you know what I'm gonna wanna delete this in the morning...
Did you see my Dear Deidre reply below? How cool is that? I've found a new blog by Chipper: click his link to the right... I have a lot of things to say to Mr Chipper. Playing With Fire... Yes indeedy! Do you know how it feels to get burnt yet? Just be careful, p l e a s e . . .
Sometimes I suspect people are too taken in by internet impressions. You must bear in mind when reading my blog that I write how I talk (pretty much). But I don't talk how I look. Most of you would probably not want to sit next to me on a bus, for example. I may give the impression, by being articulate, of being more capable than I am... capable is not the right word. OK, let me rephrase. I may give the impression of being someone who copes far better than he actually does. Do you want to hear the nitty-gritty of my life? I'll post you some gory details then... well take last night as a good example. A grown man in my house. Someone I know and for all the water under the bridge and for all his faults who I do actually respect. Was, as I said, howling like a wolf at four o'clock in the morning. And his girlfriend was begging him and I mean imploring, pleading with him not to sell her phone. This guy was acting like someone with all the IQ of a blushing-bum babboon. Which may be intelligent as the kingdom of animals goes, but ain't a patch on your average human. I have really lived in some degraded conditions (certainly of my own making, and that's the point. I don't need to "blame" anyone for these things). Homeless. Self-starving. Semi-psychotic. (At times I was psychotic, but these times have been mercifully brief.) Dirty. Sad. Pitiable and yet not wanting pity. Oh what else can I say? Just don't look to me and assume I'm taking drugs and making it somehow work for me, because that just ain't true...
Posted by gledwood at 12:57 AM GMT
Updated: Saturday, 6 January 2007 1:18 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 1:29 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
This is actually a comment I want to send to Ruth but the system went down when I attempted to send it. Luckily I've learnt to highlight+ctrlC my comments before I click anything else. Thattaway no lengthy essays get lost!!
Yes that is really beautiful. Strange coincidence but I found a fresh lime on the pavement last night (never one to pass a free fruit by, me. And I love to add about 5 teaspoons sugar + 1 glass water; makes far better lime cordial than you can buy).
And yeah! Dear Deidre replied to me! How cool is that!!!
(She must pay an army of pseudonymous Deidres to answer her mail, SURELY...!)
I still can't get over that reply though!! I was like you. I thought she was just a photo in the paper!
Re below, I love the photos of the moving bedspreads you put before. And that mound of leaves the local frogs and harvest mice set up home in... (well what else happened to it...???!!?)
Okay then, — Gleds xx
PS I hope Mick is well. Please give him my best regards...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 2:11 AM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
E-Mail: mwkalish@web.de
Hi, Gledwood -- yes, it certainly is amazing that Dear Deidre wrote to you! I wasn't actually so familiar with her in particular, but I do occasionally read some articles from The Sun online. I discovered the colorful print version too, some time ago, when waiting for a colleague to pick me up at Stansted and drive me to Derby.
Thanks for all your comments. I agree with you completely re: the senseless banning of diamorpine for pain relief in the US, while it's available pretty much elsewhere, as in the UK. Here we have a big problem with fentanyl showing up in street heroin. It has killed people I know, or rather, friends of friends. Several.
I think you would be an interesting person to sit next to on the bus ...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 5:00 PM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Oh by the way, re fentanyl and heroin "cut" with "benzos", "barbs" or "methaqualone" (Mandrax/Quaaludes)...
How does fentanyl get into heroin? Where does the fentanyl come from? Is it illicitly manufactured? If so, surely the American police/fbi/customs/whoever deals with these things has busted at least one lab... IF NOT, doesn't that suggest that the pharmecutical companies are somehow complicit in this? Or else the government? Or at the very least some people in pretty high places. Because unless you're making it yourself, getting hold of huge enough doses to cut a swathe of a nation's heroin supply takes quite some influence.
Ditto with "gear cut with barbs". E.g. a red Seconal in the 1960s contained 50mg or 100mg of Seconal (quinalbarbitone/secobarbital) in a red capsule weighing in total at least 500mg (half a gram) Which is the size of (here in the UK) a £20 bag of street gear. To cut heroin with this drug and have it take any effect, you'd need to add NEAT barbs, not just powder from capsules, which again begs the same questions...
Same with methaqualone, which has also turned up in heroin. (Though I know someone who grew up in Malta where "Quaaludes" were on the drugs market. He said these weren't pharmaceutical pills, they were more like Es, branded with various stars, birds, crowns/ etc. I.e. illicitly manufactured ...
But again, the police in this country have examined the quality of ecstasy pills and stated (though this has not been widely publicized) that some are so well made they almost definitely come from professional pill-making equipment... which again begs some fascinating questions - how do criminal gangs get their hands on such equipment?
All I'm saying is, I reckon there's a lot more going on with this drugs thing than meets the eye...
Reply to this Comment
Saturday, 6 January 2007 - 8:31 PM GMT
Name: "chipper"
Home Page: http://playingwithfire.blogdrive.com
I've read theories about where the fentanyl found in some heroin supplies gets there. One article I read (sorry, can't remember where!) said that fentanyl is one of the most-often stolen drug from pharmacies which have been burglarized. It is also intercepted in shipments, they said. I suspect two aditional things: manufacturer complicity, as you state -- as well as pharmacists and/or physicians and/or hospitals which siphon off fentanyl and sell it to heroin wholesalers. Here in Detorit it has killed nearly two hundred people. And it certainly hasn't killed every user who has received it -- most of the time, I would imagine that it's properly diluted. So it's certain that, just here in Detroit, an ENORMOUS amount of fentanyl is being diverted to the streets. And that's just one city! So there must, MUST be a conspiracy going on, cooperation between heroin suppliers and "legitimate" drug manufacturers and distributers!
The Day After the Crazy Night Before
The Day After the Crazy Night Before...
Mood: spacey
Now Playing: Still Exhaustedly, I'm afraid...
Topic: Daily Doings
Wow! Check out the reply I got from The Sun's agony aunt "Dear Deidre" below. I emailed in asking for any good or unusual links she might have for my website, so the reply you see is what she wrote (unedited) below. I've always wanted to include some very basic info on the drugs from an unbiased source so the cyber-leaflet she sent me (it came attached as a Word document) seems as good as any. I want to emphasize I've pasted it up here exactly as it came for public information.
I still didn't sleep too brilliantly last night. There was madness in our house in the form of the prostitute's boyfriend going so deranged on crack he was howling at one point like a wild animal. All the money had obviously gone and she was imploring him to be "allowed" to keep her mobile phone... else that, too, would have gone up in smoke.
There's not much more I can say about crack. I've been into the madness also. It's not pretty. It's not special. It's just a morass, a mess, a living hell.
On a lighter note, I've wanted to post a picture of my Chinese hammy and haven't been able to do it; but I've found one. If you click on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Hamster you'll see my Little Mousey in white. The beady eyes show beautifully in that photo...
I'll leave it here. Take care folks. — Gleds.
Posted by gledwood at 4:02 PM GMT
Updated: Friday, 5 January 2007 10:54 PM GMT
Mood: spacey
Now Playing: Still Exhaustedly, I'm afraid...
Topic: Daily Doings
Wow! Check out the reply I got from The Sun's agony aunt "Dear Deidre" below. I emailed in asking for any good or unusual links she might have for my website, so the reply you see is what she wrote (unedited) below. I've always wanted to include some very basic info on the drugs from an unbiased source so the cyber-leaflet she sent me (it came attached as a Word document) seems as good as any. I want to emphasize I've pasted it up here exactly as it came for public information.
I still didn't sleep too brilliantly last night. There was madness in our house in the form of the prostitute's boyfriend going so deranged on crack he was howling at one point like a wild animal. All the money had obviously gone and she was imploring him to be "allowed" to keep her mobile phone... else that, too, would have gone up in smoke.
There's not much more I can say about crack. I've been into the madness also. It's not pretty. It's not special. It's just a morass, a mess, a living hell.
On a lighter note, I've wanted to post a picture of my Chinese hammy and haven't been able to do it; but I've found one. If you click on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Hamster you'll see my Little Mousey in white. The beady eyes show beautifully in that photo...
I'll leave it here. Take care folks. — Gleds.
Posted by gledwood at 4:02 PM GMT
Updated: Friday, 5 January 2007 10:54 PM GMT
Night-night
Thursday, 4 January 2007
Night-night...
Mood: silly
Now Playing: Chung Peng Chow's Magic Cow Orchestra... and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
Topic: Daily Doings
Hi folks, it's night time. I am very tired bc I can't get a sleep pattern of any sense together. Did I have anything pertinent to say?? Whatver it was it's gone. If I knew where... do you know what, I don't know that I'm not too tired to bother fishing it back... Oh night-night...
Posted by gledwood at 11:30 PM GMT
Night-night...
Mood: silly
Now Playing: Chung Peng Chow's Magic Cow Orchestra... and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
Topic: Daily Doings
Hi folks, it's night time. I am very tired bc I can't get a sleep pattern of any sense together. Did I have anything pertinent to say?? Whatver it was it's gone. If I knew where... do you know what, I don't know that I'm not too tired to bother fishing it back... Oh night-night...
Posted by gledwood at 11:30 PM GMT
Good Morning
Thursday, 4 January 2007
Good Morning
Mood: chillin'
Now Playing: Barely Consciously...
Topic: Chinese Mouse
Good morning everyone. I am sat here rather tired out and nicotine-deprived. Mousey's in his nest. The proper one with cotton wool and sawdust, not the one called my elbow. -ey by the way is not to be confused with Mousie, my French friend who you will see leaving messages in here. I think French Mousie has always known about the Chinese Mousey. I wish I could introduce them. But my scanning abilities are rather dire and my last attempted rodent photo session was a disaster. I got loads of close-ups of a hammy with a dead worried face. (Yes, even hamsters can look worried. I have the proof on Mother Hubbard's mobile phone.) Perhaps one day I will manage to get a nice picture of the Chinese Mouse and I'll email it to the magickal village of Plumpiemousie where the midnight colours are inverted and all is funky, yet never druggie. Such an amazing place...
Posted by gledwood at 9:59 AM GMT
Updated: Thursday, 4 January 2007 10:10 AM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 10:26 AM GMT
Name: "Holly Blue"
Morning Gledwood.....I've just been doing a bit on my blog too. I don't know if you've noticed I've added a link to stuff that inspires me...I know you're collecting inspiring stuff so wondered if you wanna take a look??....it might do the same for you. Let me know what you think.
Have a good day...Give mousie a cuddle from me! HBE:)
PS.....you can always e-mail me your comments if you'd rather my address is holly-blueeyes@hotmail.co.uk
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 11:10 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
I'm just about to view those inspirations.
I can't really "cuddle" the Mouse, bc he is so tiny. I held him cupped in my hand this morning actually. He sits there peering out. Not moving. And this morning he sat there I was rubbing his head between his beady black eyes and this actually made him fall asleep! (I don't know if I could sleep if a finger the size of a telephone kiosk tried poking ME between the eyes, but there you go.)
Hmmm. Well I'm off. Bye! Gleds
Good Morning
Mood: chillin'
Now Playing: Barely Consciously...
Topic: Chinese Mouse
Good morning everyone. I am sat here rather tired out and nicotine-deprived. Mousey's in his nest. The proper one with cotton wool and sawdust, not the one called my elbow. -ey by the way is not to be confused with Mousie, my French friend who you will see leaving messages in here. I think French Mousie has always known about the Chinese Mousey. I wish I could introduce them. But my scanning abilities are rather dire and my last attempted rodent photo session was a disaster. I got loads of close-ups of a hammy with a dead worried face. (Yes, even hamsters can look worried. I have the proof on Mother Hubbard's mobile phone.) Perhaps one day I will manage to get a nice picture of the Chinese Mouse and I'll email it to the magickal village of Plumpiemousie where the midnight colours are inverted and all is funky, yet never druggie. Such an amazing place...
Posted by gledwood at 9:59 AM GMT
Updated: Thursday, 4 January 2007 10:10 AM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 10:26 AM GMT
Name: "Holly Blue"
Morning Gledwood.....I've just been doing a bit on my blog too. I don't know if you've noticed I've added a link to stuff that inspires me...I know you're collecting inspiring stuff so wondered if you wanna take a look??....it might do the same for you. Let me know what you think.
Have a good day...Give mousie a cuddle from me! HBE:)
PS.....you can always e-mail me your comments if you'd rather my address is holly-blueeyes@hotmail.co.uk
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 11:10 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
I'm just about to view those inspirations.
I can't really "cuddle" the Mouse, bc he is so tiny. I held him cupped in my hand this morning actually. He sits there peering out. Not moving. And this morning he sat there I was rubbing his head between his beady black eyes and this actually made him fall asleep! (I don't know if I could sleep if a finger the size of a telephone kiosk tried poking ME between the eyes, but there you go.)
Hmmm. Well I'm off. Bye! Gleds
Wednesday's Proper Posting
Thursday, 4 January 2007
Wednesday's Proper Posting
Mood: incredulous
Now Playing: incredulously... people!!-- gaah!!!
Topic: Daily Doings
MY PROPER POSTING for today. Yes I conked out again with my little Mousey up my sleeve. Mousing around, up and down my sleeve, whiskers all a-tickling me, push-push-pushing with his nose. Then, as I say, settling down to yet more extended hours of sleep. Funny, but when he’s intent on rambling somewhere more interesting, even if I put my forearms vertical he climbs up the material with ease, pops out and climbs on my hands, hangs over the brink of my cuffs, judging ever more cavalierly the distance for a leap down…
I’M GLAD I’M AT HOME. Am not too much of a fan of the Vast Outside most of the time.
People! Bloody people!
The girls in the bookshop were sweet, wishing me happy new year. They know me well from my times last year when I went through a great deal of the Wordsworth Editions £1.99 Classics range. Ordering titles, one at a time, through their computer. Leaving me with half a shelf full of half read Victorian fiction. Anna Karenina I'm still tackling gamely. I adore that book. It's just that I have the attentionspan of a gnat that makes the concentrating upon all 850++ pages rather difficult.
Then I’m leaving the booksshop when a Greek voice accosts me and two deranged eyes. A Local Psycho, who used to call himself my friend, demands £1. So he can go get a drink. I said no. Then, two glassy inner –spiralling eyes met mine and a rant — “I saw you with my friend (what friend?) in the off-licence (liquor store) this morning. What off licence? Don’t laugh at me. Next time I see you I’m gonna hit you. What’s wrong with now? Does he know my really puny left hook?
(MY RIGHT HOOK, on the other hand, even Charles the Schizophrenic Boxer admires my right hook. He tries not to look pained when, standing palms out, he allows me to smack them fearlessly.)
[I've just read this back the next day. And who was supposed to be fearless. Him or me?]
So Zorba doddles off. I brave the local supermarket. “Brave” is the operative word for their most recent “StoreD”, in an Alzheimerian feat of confabulation, remembers calling me into the back room of a prominent high street pharmacy accused of theft of what I later identified as a £25 copper antiarthritis bangle. What else annoyed me in this incident was that nobody had witnessed me even touching said bangle (that’s because I hadn’t). A new and rather thick member of staff had merely witnessed me stand beside the empty packet as I perused camera batteries (I needed a new battery for my oldfashioned auto-advance film camera.)
“Look, just put it on the table now and you’ll get a banning letter (banning me for life from the shop? For doing nothing? No thanks.) and we’ll leave it at that,” said Mr StoreD in a voice so reasonable I almost felt silly having to contradict him and tell him the truth. The harsh unpalatable truth that someone who looked like a junkie had actually, for once, not stolen the item in question. He didn’t like this. Once I’d emptied my every pocket, turned my bag inside-out, proved beyond doubt that no £25 arthritis bracelet was in my possession, I pointed to the luxuriant bank of CCTV monitors and challenged him to prove the “crime” on them.
My invitation was immediately declined.
What gets me the most about this episode is that the guilty StoreD remembers my face (though he assumed I’d forgotten his for I blanked him so effectively on so many occasions), remembers the accusation, yet affects to have forgotten my innocence. He even started getting quite lairy with me last time he caught me in this unnamed supermarket, ejecting me for “theft” of a single carrier bag. My friend Valium Marilyn’s had split so I was only doing a favour. He threw me out as if I’d been apprehended committing grand theft larceny. Well and truly in his element he threatened me with “the back room” should I dare set foot inside the hallowed sliding doors again. When I told him that the “last time” of which he kept reminding me, I’d actually done nothing wrong and he knew that, his eyes flashed with inner fury and he growled to , “Get out of my face.”...
Thankfully no security appeared to be “on” this evening so I braved the supermarket, got all me food. Feeling well pleased with myself I breezed outside ony to run slap bang into Crackhead of the Century imploring me for £50p. Come on, just 50p I know you’ve got it.” I pleaded poverty and hurried to the busstop. People!
Fair enough I used to beg up change. But I never begged “off my own” (why ask someone who has nothing?— that makes no sense. That is taking the pee-pee.) Also when I begged I sat down. In the end, I had so many “regulars” I didn’t even need to ask. The money came of people’s free will. If someone didn’t want to talk to me, so be it. I ignored them. And I got very little trouble because of this. C of the C, on the other hand, seems to have a bashed-in face nearly every other time I meet him. Which is far too frequently for my liking.
And here endeth today’s posting. People! Ukk!!
Posted by gledwood at 12:51 AM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 6:37 PM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 7:06 AM GMT
Name: "Holly Blue"
Yes people can be a pain this much I know is true....
I'd much rather be a butterfly! ;)
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 9:51 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com.blog
I don't blame you.
Gleds.
Wednesday's Proper Posting
Mood: incredulous
Now Playing: incredulously... people!!-- gaah!!!
Topic: Daily Doings
MY PROPER POSTING for today. Yes I conked out again with my little Mousey up my sleeve. Mousing around, up and down my sleeve, whiskers all a-tickling me, push-push-pushing with his nose. Then, as I say, settling down to yet more extended hours of sleep. Funny, but when he’s intent on rambling somewhere more interesting, even if I put my forearms vertical he climbs up the material with ease, pops out and climbs on my hands, hangs over the brink of my cuffs, judging ever more cavalierly the distance for a leap down…
I’M GLAD I’M AT HOME. Am not too much of a fan of the Vast Outside most of the time.
People! Bloody people!
The girls in the bookshop were sweet, wishing me happy new year. They know me well from my times last year when I went through a great deal of the Wordsworth Editions £1.99 Classics range. Ordering titles, one at a time, through their computer. Leaving me with half a shelf full of half read Victorian fiction. Anna Karenina I'm still tackling gamely. I adore that book. It's just that I have the attentionspan of a gnat that makes the concentrating upon all 850++ pages rather difficult.
Then I’m leaving the booksshop when a Greek voice accosts me and two deranged eyes. A Local Psycho, who used to call himself my friend, demands £1. So he can go get a drink. I said no. Then, two glassy inner –spiralling eyes met mine and a rant — “I saw you with my friend (what friend?) in the off-licence (liquor store) this morning. What off licence? Don’t laugh at me. Next time I see you I’m gonna hit you. What’s wrong with now? Does he know my really puny left hook?
(MY RIGHT HOOK, on the other hand, even Charles the Schizophrenic Boxer admires my right hook. He tries not to look pained when, standing palms out, he allows me to smack them fearlessly.)
[I've just read this back the next day. And who was supposed to be fearless. Him or me?]
So Zorba doddles off. I brave the local supermarket. “Brave” is the operative word for their most recent “StoreD”, in an Alzheimerian feat of confabulation, remembers calling me into the back room of a prominent high street pharmacy accused of theft of what I later identified as a £25 copper antiarthritis bangle. What else annoyed me in this incident was that nobody had witnessed me even touching said bangle (that’s because I hadn’t). A new and rather thick member of staff had merely witnessed me stand beside the empty packet as I perused camera batteries (I needed a new battery for my oldfashioned auto-advance film camera.)
“Look, just put it on the table now and you’ll get a banning letter (banning me for life from the shop? For doing nothing? No thanks.) and we’ll leave it at that,” said Mr StoreD in a voice so reasonable I almost felt silly having to contradict him and tell him the truth. The harsh unpalatable truth that someone who looked like a junkie had actually, for once, not stolen the item in question. He didn’t like this. Once I’d emptied my every pocket, turned my bag inside-out, proved beyond doubt that no £25 arthritis bracelet was in my possession, I pointed to the luxuriant bank of CCTV monitors and challenged him to prove the “crime” on them.
My invitation was immediately declined.
What gets me the most about this episode is that the guilty StoreD remembers my face (though he assumed I’d forgotten his for I blanked him so effectively on so many occasions), remembers the accusation, yet affects to have forgotten my innocence. He even started getting quite lairy with me last time he caught me in this unnamed supermarket, ejecting me for “theft” of a single carrier bag. My friend Valium Marilyn’s had split so I was only doing a favour. He threw me out as if I’d been apprehended committing grand theft larceny. Well and truly in his element he threatened me with “the back room” should I dare set foot inside the hallowed sliding doors again. When I told him that the “last time” of which he kept reminding me, I’d actually done nothing wrong and he knew that, his eyes flashed with inner fury and he growled to , “Get out of my face.”...
Thankfully no security appeared to be “on” this evening so I braved the supermarket, got all me food. Feeling well pleased with myself I breezed outside ony to run slap bang into Crackhead of the Century imploring me for £50p. Come on, just 50p I know you’ve got it.” I pleaded poverty and hurried to the busstop. People!
Fair enough I used to beg up change. But I never begged “off my own” (why ask someone who has nothing?— that makes no sense. That is taking the pee-pee.) Also when I begged I sat down. In the end, I had so many “regulars” I didn’t even need to ask. The money came of people’s free will. If someone didn’t want to talk to me, so be it. I ignored them. And I got very little trouble because of this. C of the C, on the other hand, seems to have a bashed-in face nearly every other time I meet him. Which is far too frequently for my liking.
And here endeth today’s posting. People! Ukk!!
Posted by gledwood at 12:51 AM GMT
Updated: Sunday, 7 January 2007 6:37 PM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 7:06 AM GMT
Name: "Holly Blue"
Yes people can be a pain this much I know is true....
I'd much rather be a butterfly! ;)
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 9:51 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com.blog
I don't blame you.
Gleds.
Daily Nothingness
Wednesday, 3 January 2007
The Daily Nothingness
Mood: spacey
Now Playing: Ding-Dong-Ping-Pong-Pong-Pongs
Topic: Daily Doings
Wednesday 3rd January 2007
I DO FIND IT AMUSING when I type these postings out on Word and the program presumes to (a) understand what I’m trying to say better than I can say so myself or (b) (most annoying of all) corrects my grammar. It even dove (or should that be “dived”, I prefer “dove”, I think it’s American English but still, I prefer it. Yeah, it dove in and informed me that my Revised Standard Version Bible quotation from Isaiah for the new year was ungrammatical. Honestly!
Right so I’m meant to tell the nitty-gritty of my sad life. Sainsbury’s. No beef sausages. Exceedingly annoying. (I’m no swine-o-phile.) I’m getting loads of green underlining here. Bought “Healthy Options” wholegrain fresh and soft and bendy tagliatelle. Not your junkie Value baked beans and shoplifted bacon fayre, I know, but I’ve made more effort to take care of myself of late.
Last night I conked out (addicts don’t just sleep, they conk out fully clothed for the night and call that sleeping). Yeah so I conked out with hammy out. In my hands he’s learnt to dive up my sleeves where he mouses around for up to twenty minutes before settling down to sleep. Yes, up my sleeve. And it being night, I fell into deep unconsciousness with said rodent nestling in the crook of my arm. (Hamsters are nocturnal, but this one just sleeps morning, noon and night; I’ve never had a pet like him.)
When I awoke thinking “aaagh! He’s pinged out!” he hadn’t. He was just clinging (no doubt still unconscious) to the inside of my clothes. As I said, he is a very odd hamster. Chinese hamster if you want to be precise. He makes my sleeves his own domain then runs away from my hands when I try and get him out. Usually for some practical reason, like I’m popping down the shop. Sometimes I just think, well whatever and take him with me. He doesn’t mind.
Now I’m trying to think of something more exciting to tell you. One of these days I shall get round to telling about my home detox. At my parents’ house. Unannounced. That was some chaos and a half!
Meanwhile I’m signing off for now. Take care, folks.
Gleds
xx
Posted by gledwood at 9:20 PM GMT
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Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 12:18 AM GMT
Name: "soren faust"
Home Page: http://soren-faust.livejournal.com/
E-Mail: ssaturnine@yahoo.com
Hey Glens,
Thanks for commenting on my journal (livejournal) post, i.e. "Tunnel Walking." I like your comment on the whole "pinhole" at the end of the tunnel insight. Anyway, I plan on reading some of your stuff--as it stands, I've been quite busy and have fell behind on reading blogs. Also, I noticed that Micah from Junkylife gave you a "nod." Junkylife's a good site with good people on it, except for me. To let you know--I'm "ssaturnine" on JL. The reason I've not been posting frequently over there is because, for intents and purposes, I don't fit the Junky thing anymore, so why bore people with my stories of what can be called the remnants of a drug past. I still have "problems" but they're mainly what I call vanilla drug problems, the ones that never, ever go away.
Hope your new year goes sweetly, again thanks for looking me up.
soren faust
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 1:17 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Thanks for posting your comment.
I omitted to tell you that when I went tunnel walking I did so with my brother, my Mum and my Dad! (Sneaking behind barbed-wire fences into the Stygian dark... mile-long rat infested derelict tunnels! Not the kinda thing you're MEANT to do with your parents... surely...?... know what I mean??!
Funny you should have posted about the Tunnel Walk. I've always counted myself lucky for having had that tunnel experience. I'm not sure most people have, you know, really experienced what that saying "light at the end of the tunnel" really means...
Another time we were on a canal narrow boat (again with Mum & this time step-father, on holiday) we went through incredibly long canal-tunnel. This one was really ultra-low to the boat and ribbed or ridged the entire length along the top to the horses that usually pulled the narrow boats could be walked along the top by a child and the men would lie on their backs "peddling" upside down a boat carrying possibly many tonnes of coal/ore/manufactured items (Britain had an extensive canal network before the railways were built and enormous quantities of goods were shipped across the system that joined all the major rivers of the land...) That time in particular I remember the pinpoint of light quite clearly, how tiny and small and slow it stayed. Yeah, cliché it may be, but it definitely means something, that phrase about it at the end of the tunnel...
I don't get what you mean by "Vanilla" drug prob? Surely a problem is a problem? You don't mean opiates, I take it? Are you trying to say you have the odd drink too many and need Valium to chill out? In that case you can join the club of about 100,000,000 other people in THAT particular boat!
Okay, re New Year have a great one. All the best, Gleds
—!!
The Daily Nothingness
Mood: spacey
Now Playing: Ding-Dong-Ping-Pong-Pong-Pongs
Topic: Daily Doings
Wednesday 3rd January 2007
I DO FIND IT AMUSING when I type these postings out on Word and the program presumes to (a) understand what I’m trying to say better than I can say so myself or (b) (most annoying of all) corrects my grammar. It even dove (or should that be “dived”, I prefer “dove”, I think it’s American English but still, I prefer it. Yeah, it dove in and informed me that my Revised Standard Version Bible quotation from Isaiah for the new year was ungrammatical. Honestly!
Right so I’m meant to tell the nitty-gritty of my sad life. Sainsbury’s. No beef sausages. Exceedingly annoying. (I’m no swine-o-phile.) I’m getting loads of green underlining here. Bought “Healthy Options” wholegrain fresh and soft and bendy tagliatelle. Not your junkie Value baked beans and shoplifted bacon fayre, I know, but I’ve made more effort to take care of myself of late.
Last night I conked out (addicts don’t just sleep, they conk out fully clothed for the night and call that sleeping). Yeah so I conked out with hammy out. In my hands he’s learnt to dive up my sleeves where he mouses around for up to twenty minutes before settling down to sleep. Yes, up my sleeve. And it being night, I fell into deep unconsciousness with said rodent nestling in the crook of my arm. (Hamsters are nocturnal, but this one just sleeps morning, noon and night; I’ve never had a pet like him.)
When I awoke thinking “aaagh! He’s pinged out!” he hadn’t. He was just clinging (no doubt still unconscious) to the inside of my clothes. As I said, he is a very odd hamster. Chinese hamster if you want to be precise. He makes my sleeves his own domain then runs away from my hands when I try and get him out. Usually for some practical reason, like I’m popping down the shop. Sometimes I just think, well whatever and take him with me. He doesn’t mind.
Now I’m trying to think of something more exciting to tell you. One of these days I shall get round to telling about my home detox. At my parents’ house. Unannounced. That was some chaos and a half!
Meanwhile I’m signing off for now. Take care, folks.
Gleds
xx
Posted by gledwood at 9:20 PM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Comments Page 1 of 1
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 12:18 AM GMT
Name: "soren faust"
Home Page: http://soren-faust.livejournal.com/
E-Mail: ssaturnine@yahoo.com
Hey Glens,
Thanks for commenting on my journal (livejournal) post, i.e. "Tunnel Walking." I like your comment on the whole "pinhole" at the end of the tunnel insight. Anyway, I plan on reading some of your stuff--as it stands, I've been quite busy and have fell behind on reading blogs. Also, I noticed that Micah from Junkylife gave you a "nod." Junkylife's a good site with good people on it, except for me. To let you know--I'm "ssaturnine" on JL. The reason I've not been posting frequently over there is because, for intents and purposes, I don't fit the Junky thing anymore, so why bore people with my stories of what can be called the remnants of a drug past. I still have "problems" but they're mainly what I call vanilla drug problems, the ones that never, ever go away.
Hope your new year goes sweetly, again thanks for looking me up.
soren faust
Reply to this Comment
Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 1:17 AM GMT
Name: "Gledwood"
Home Page: http://gledwood.tripod.com/blog
Thanks for posting your comment.
I omitted to tell you that when I went tunnel walking I did so with my brother, my Mum and my Dad! (Sneaking behind barbed-wire fences into the Stygian dark... mile-long rat infested derelict tunnels! Not the kinda thing you're MEANT to do with your parents... surely...?... know what I mean??!
Funny you should have posted about the Tunnel Walk. I've always counted myself lucky for having had that tunnel experience. I'm not sure most people have, you know, really experienced what that saying "light at the end of the tunnel" really means...
Another time we were on a canal narrow boat (again with Mum & this time step-father, on holiday) we went through incredibly long canal-tunnel. This one was really ultra-low to the boat and ribbed or ridged the entire length along the top to the horses that usually pulled the narrow boats could be walked along the top by a child and the men would lie on their backs "peddling" upside down a boat carrying possibly many tonnes of coal/ore/manufactured items (Britain had an extensive canal network before the railways were built and enormous quantities of goods were shipped across the system that joined all the major rivers of the land...) That time in particular I remember the pinpoint of light quite clearly, how tiny and small and slow it stayed. Yeah, cliché it may be, but it definitely means something, that phrase about it at the end of the tunnel...
I don't get what you mean by "Vanilla" drug prob? Surely a problem is a problem? You don't mean opiates, I take it? Are you trying to say you have the odd drink too many and need Valium to chill out? In that case you can join the club of about 100,000,000 other people in THAT particular boat!
Okay, re New Year have a great one. All the best, Gleds
—!!
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